I just got back from a doctor’s visit concerning my most recent health challenge. I have a sore and scratchy throat and a cough, and I’m having ever increasing difficulty in swallowing. I feel as if I have a lump in my throat and have had a few experiences of almost choking in recent days. Needless to say, this is both troubling and scary. Unfortunately, my general practitioner could not ascertain the problem or its cause, so I now have an appointment to see a specialist next week to explore the matter further.
This is just the latest in a long litany of health issues for me. I have come to feel that it’s always something. Just when I feel that things are improving, something else seems to crop up! The main reason I started my “healing project” a few months ago was to try to overcome my laundry list of health woes.
I truly believe in the mind-body connection and am aware that my thoughts have played a large role in shaping the current state of affairs in terms of my health. I steadfastly believed, and I still believe, that it is possible to overcome even the most serious of illnesses through spiritual methods. After all, Louise Hay was able to heal herself of a deadly cancer, so I should be able to overcome my less serious albeit numerous issues.
Louise Hay’s List
There is a section in “You Can Heal Your Life” called “The List.” This section lists a number of physical problems, along with the thought patterns that are probable causes for each problem. New positive thought patterns are provided as replacements for our destructive and habitual ways of thinking. I often refer to this list when a new ache or pain crops up to see if the probable cause suggested by Louise Hay rings true for me. In many cases, it makes perfect sense to me…
The Birth of the Healing Project…
While I use Louise Hay’s positive thought patterns as affirmations and regularly work on releasing my negative thoughts, my health challenges persist. Since it seemed that a more intense course of healing was in order, “the healing project” was born. I am fully committed to healing my health issues – and life issues – within a period of one year. Perhaps I need to “amp up the volume” on this project to really get it off the ground! I will brainstorm on how to do this and will report on my plan for the future in an upcoming post…
Expression & Creativity
For now, I will explore my most recent health challenge involving my throat. Louise Hay specifies that the throat is our avenue of expression and our channel of creativity. Her probable causes for throat problems are:
- The inability to speak up for one’s self
- Swallowed anger
- Stifled creativity
- Refusal to change
There is much food for thought for me here… I can think of ways in which each probable cause could be true for me, but “stifled creativity” seems to hit the closest to home. Ever since I was a young child, I wanted to be a writer. I wrote in a journal for years, have written many poems, and have cultivated a number of ideas for books. I even wrote one book with a friend, but we were unable to secure an agent or publisher, and now our friendship has ended for reasons unclear to me (but that’s a different story…). I have a second book that has been “in progress” for years because I am not sure of the core message I want to express. Many other book ideas have been kept on the “back burner,” awaiting the right time for me to pursue them. This waiting period has often extended to a period of years.
Me as a Writer…
I think I am afraid to really put myself out there as a writer. Although I have had a number of jobs and careers over the years, none of them meant as much to me as writing does. I have tried and failed at many declared passions, but I always had writing in my pocket as a type of back-up plan. But what if I tried to be a writer and I failed at that, too? Then what would I have to fall back on? It only recently dawned on me that I have been trying to protect myself by not fully trying my hand at writing.
There is also the matter of self-disclosure. My half-written book chronicles my struggles with eating disorders and includes excerpts from journals written during the darkest hours of that time period. I used to be so open and honest about myself, my beliefs, and my feelings, but past hurts and rejection have led me to construct virtual walls in order to protect myself. If I were to write about my struggles, it would be akin to displaying my heart and soul to the world, and that felt far too scary to even contemplate doing. Until recently, that is…
This Blog & Creativity
This blog is not only about healing my health and my life; it is also about expressing myself and channeling my creativity. In the process, I hope that I will also be able to help others. Perhaps my readers will see themselves in my struggles, or maybe an insight I share will lead to an epiphany for someone else. I sincerely hope that I will be a force for good by writing this blog, but that remains to be seen. What I know right here and now is that it feels good to write; it feels liberating to be open and honest – and real – through my writing. I am releasing some of my stifled creativity through my blog posts and honoring one of the new thought patterns suggested by Louise Hay for healing throat problems: “I express myself freely and joyously.”
It feels liberating to express myself and I hope that my expression will help others to express themselves as well. I would love to hear your thoughts on this post and about my blog in general. If there are topics which you would like to have addressed, please send them my way…
Willing to Learn, Willing to Change
I often feel that “it’s always something” in regards to my health challenges. It can be exasperating at times, but I always try to look for the lessons in my trials and tribulations. I am willing to learn and grow, and as Louise Hay suggests that we all affirm, “I am willing to change.”